But....I'm Still Tired
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. This all important, powerful passage of scripture comes from the Bible in Galatians 6:9. I believe this because I believe the Word of God. I believe in the power of God. His grace and mercy is beyond my finite comprehension. But…I’m still tired.
I’m not so much tired of doing good by others, but I’m tired of waiting to reap my harvest. And to be totally honest, I guess I do get tired of doing good by others, of being the ‘nice person, the ‘giving person’, the understanding person’. I’m just telling you how it is. I won’t lie about it. Is it wrong to feel tired when God is blessing me with life? Is it wrong to be tired when there are so many people who would love to be in my shoes? Is it wrong for me to still be tired when there is so much calamity and mayhem in the world, yet I am safe and my family is safe, and I am included as one of God’s children? Is it wrong of me to be tired even though I’m an heir and a joint heir to the kingdom of God and He adopted me because He loves me?
Sometimes I wonder if I’m overlooking my harvest. Maybe it’s already arrived. After all, I am still living. I do still have the faculties of my mind. I am blessed with plenty of people who love me. I am blessed with sons and grandsons who have a reasonable portion of health and strength. Even I have a reasonable portion of health and strength. I am blessed to have seen many of the desires of my heart come into fruition. So, why do I still feel Tired? After all that God has done for me, after all of the prayers He’s heard and answered, after all of the trials and tribulations He has brought me through and seen me through….But…I’m still tired.
I’m tired but I keep pressing forward. There are days and times such as this when I know I’m not living up to my full potential. I feel drained. I feel sometimes like giving up, yet I keep encouraging others to Stand when I can barely sit up straight in my spirit. I have to share this with you because as a human being with feelings and emotions, I get weary. It’s one of those weary times for me. But even in my weariness, I thank God that He never leaves me or forsakes me. Even during this But…I’m Still Tired time of my life, I thank God that He doesn’t get tired. I thank God that His mercies are new and fresh every morning. I thank Him because He understands my thoughts, my struggles. Even when things happen that, to me, just don’t make any sense, God sees all and knows all. Even when times are hard and every single thing seems to fall apart bit by bit, I know God has a plan for my life. Even when one thing goes right and three things immediately go wrong.
God says that His plans are not to harm me, but they are for my good to give me hope and a future. Hope and a future, good plans, good gifts, good results, goodness and mercy. Today, I’m tired but even in Ecclesiastes the writer King Solomon says, “the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.” – Ecclesiastes 9:11 KJV
In light of what the great King Solomon says, and knowing what a mighty God I serve, and though I am still tired, I will keep pressing on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling me.
Still God's Girl, Shelia