Is Beauty Really In The Eyes of the Beholder?

  Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.

What is your definition of beautiful? Do you equate being beautiful with the physical, outer trappings that constitute your physical body? What do you say about yourself when you look in the mirror?

Many women are highly critical of themselves. We complain about our weight, our hair, our looks, our shape, and the list can go on and on. But stop, think about yourself for just a moment. Do you realize that when you criticize yourself, you are in essence saying that you are not good enough? You are saying that you are less than. You are saying God made a huge mistake when He made you. That somehow He must have gotten distracted somewhere along the way.

Ladies, I understand wanting to be in shape, wanting to look good, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, I encourage exercise, eating properly and presenting yourself at your best at all times. However, when you talk about beauty, it is more than what is seen on the outside.

I am sure you have heard that a person can be oh so beautiful on the outside, but tore up from the floor up ugly on the inside. That means, ugly when it comes to your personality, the way you treat others, even the way you treat yourself.

You can be the most gorgeous woman walking around, looking like America’s Next Top Model, or dressed like you just stepped out of the latest women’s fashion magazine. You can look like a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, but…if you have an ugly attitude and disposition then your outer beauty is quickly destroyed, and results to you being less than what God has truly designed you to be.

I am all for keeping myself up, not only in my health, but in my overall appearance. However, let me remind you that real beauty truly does come from within. Real beauty is who you are when no one is looking. Real beauty is who you are when you see another human being in need, and how you respond to that individual. Real beauty equals being proud (not conceited) of who you are no matter what. Real beauty never fades. Who you are on the inside radiates on the outside whether that comes out in a negative aspect or a positive aspect.

I wrote a two-book series (novels). The first book in the series is titled Beautiful Ugly. The sequel to Beautiful Ugly is called True Beauty. These books tell the stories of three best friends named Kayla, Envy, and Layla. Each one of these women struggles with the ‘woman they see in the mirror’. They have difficult times accepting themselves the way they are.

For instance, Layla is morbidly obese so she settles for men to use and abuse her. She refuses to look at how gifted she is as a singer and how loving she is as a woman. How many of us negate our own gifts and talents because we feel like we do not measure up? We feel somewhat ugly and maybe even tainted.

The other friend is Kacie. Kacie has a physical disability. Like Layla, Kacie battles with the demons of low self-consciousness and low self-esteem. Because she hates the woman she sees in the mirror, she has one child after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, and after another. Yes, seven children, seven baby daddies, and never a husband. If only she could see that she is more than the deformity of her disability. If only Kacie would open her eyes and see that she is  compassionate, forgiving, and hard working. That she deserves the best life has to offer.

Finally, there is the third friend. Successful, beautiful, got it going on Envy. On the outside Envy’s life appears to be perfect, yet, no one knows the deep, dark demons that torment Envy mentally and emotionally, to the point that she uses others to make her feel better about herself. You probably know someone like one of these ladies. You may even be one of them.

I believe, like there is a thin line between love and hate, there is a thin line between beautiful and ugly. It’s all about who you choose to see when you look deep within yourself. I implore you to love yourself. Accept that you and no one on this earth is perfect. It’s not about who looks better than you, or who has more than you. It’s not about being over weight, underweight, short, tall, pimples or having the clearest of skin. It’s not about the ability to carry the latest designer purse, wear the best designer clothes. It’s not about those things that will one day fade away. Outward beauty should not be predicated on what someone else says about you. It’s about the love you display. It’s all about loving yourself in spite of your shortcomings.

Through their life experiences, Kacie, Layla, and Envy had to come to the realization that their physical shell was not what needed a makeover. One by one, they began to understand from all that happened in their lives that they needed spiritual beauty makeovers to remove the ugliness of sin in their lives. A makeover that only God, Himself can dispense.

I hope that from this point forward each of you reading today’s blog post will reevaluate yourself. Know that you have a choice to see the good in you. Accept yourself for being the special woman that you are. Choose to love yourself so you can love others. Affirm that you are unique, you are one of a kind; you are perfectly designed and divinely created. There is no one else quite like you. That alone makes you beautiful!

I like this quote by the late actress, Audrey Hepburn. It reads, “For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”

Beautiful? Ugly? Which one are you? Which one will you choose to be? Only you and the woman in the mirror can answer this question.